{{NSFW}}
Because a parody of Squidward's Suicide has NEVER been done before, here it goes!
My name is Dick, and I'm an intern at Cartoon Network. Well, at least I was. That was ''before'' it happened. I was walking just outside of the studio to take a smoke break, when a homeless man climbs out of the dumpster he was in and hands me a VHS tape.
He said, "Here kid. I want you to have this. Destroy the tape immediately. You're the world's only hope."
I'm not going to trust some random hobo, but I was a little suspicious because it was a VHS tape, and on the label written with blood it said, "Gumball Season 0 Lost Episode". I went back into the studio where my only job is to sit there or get the workers coffee. I ran into the creative consultant and told him all about the tape.
He said this in response, "We actually did make an episode that was never aired. Maybe the homeless man got a hold of it somehow."
So we gathered up everyone in the studio and made some popcorn to watch whatever was on the VHS tape. But when I looked down to eat my popcorn, I saw there was hyper-realistic blood and semen in there. I figured it was just Jerry, an animator who likes to ejaculate into people's food. But I didn't know where the blood came from, so I was kind of frightened by it. When the tape first started playing, there was the same old title screen in all the episodes, but the title was "Gumball's Suicide". At first we thought nothing of it, as we like to put funny titles in the episode before it's aired such as "Ms. Simian and Principal Brown Bomb the School" or "Penny and Gumball Are Forced to Watch Gumball's Mother Masturbate". We all nervously laughed, and continued to watch the episode.
But then there was a looping video of Gumball crying hyper-realistic tears, and a high-pitched noise that slowly got louder and louder. But it sounded like it was coming from behind me. It may have been because of the surround sound system we installed, but everyone in the room was crying because the noise hurt like hell.
"Turn it off! Turn that thing off!" shouted Jerry. So I ran up covering my ears, and turned off the video cassette player, but the video kept playing. At this point everyone tried running out the door, but it was locked!
At that point I had flashbacks of the homeless man telling me to destroy the tape. I had not listened, and summoned the satanic power of the tape.
The noise got louder and louder until it suddenly stopped. Our ears were still ringing, and we looked up at the TV. Gumball was still crying hyper-realistic tears, but then a picture flashed up of about 10 frames. It was a picture of a real-life blue cat hanging from the ceiling with its intestines spilling out of its stomach. Everyone in the room was crying, and I vomited on Jennifer, another intern who I was going to ask out on a date that very same day.
Then the VHS ejected by itself from the player, and the doors were unlocked. Everyone left shocked and scarred for life. I was fired the next day along with the creative consultant because we were the ones who showed everyone the tape.
And that's the story of how I had blood in my popcorn one day. The end.
by Thepurplewalrus